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The Pragmatic Programmers classic is back! Freshly updated for modern software development, Pragmatic Unit Testing in Java 8 With JUnit teaches you how to write and run easily maintained unit tests in JUnit with confidence. You'll learn mnemonics to help you know what tests to write, how to remember all the boundary conditions, and what the qualities of a good test are. You'll see how unit tests can pay off by allowing you to keep your system code clean, and you'll learn how to handle the stuff that seems too tough to test.

Pragmatic Unit Testing in Java 8 With JUnit steps you through all the important unit testing topics. If you've never written a unit test, you'll see screen shots from Eclipse, IntelliJ IDEA, and NetBeans that will help you get past the hard part--getting set up and started.

Once past the basics, you'll learn why you want to write unit tests and how to effectively use JUnit. But the meaty part of the book is its collected unit testing wisdom from people who've been there, done that on production systems for at least 15 years: veteran author and developer Jeff Langr, building on the wisdom of Pragmatic Programmers Andy Hunt and Dave Thomas. You'll learn:

• How to craft your unit tests to minimize your effort in maintaining them.
• How to use unit tests to help keep your system clean.
• How to test the tough stuff.
• Memorable mnemonics to help you remember what's important when writing unit tests.
• How to help your team reap and sustain the benefits of unit testing.

You won't just learn about unit testing in theory--you'll work through numerous code examples. When it comes to programming, hands-on is the only way to learn!

• Sales Rank: #201863 in Books
• Published on: 2015-03-19
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.25" h x .50" w x 7.52" l, 1.47 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 200 pages

About the Author

Jeff Langr is a veteran software developer with well over three decades experience building software and helping others learn how to do so. Jeff develops software for Outpace Systems, Inc., and still provides help to customers through Langr Software Solutions, Inc. Jeff's prior Pragmatic Bookshelf titles include Agile in a Flash (with Tim Ottinger) and Modern C++ Programming with Test-Driven Development.

Andy Hunt has written and co-written over a half-dozen previous titles, including the classic The Pragmatic Programmer, Practices of an Agile Developer, Pragmatic Thinking & Learning, and Learn to Program with Minecraft Plugins, and regularly speaks at conferences on software development around the world.

Dave Thomas is a programmer who likes to evangelize cool stuff. He cowrote "The Pragmatic Programmer" and was one of the creators of the Agile Manifesto. His book "Programming Ruby" introduced the Ruby language to the world, and "Agile Web Development with Rails" helped kickstart the Rails revolution.

Most helpful customer reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
An excellent refresher for old and new
By J. Rasmusson
Having come back to Java recently, I was looking for a refresher on best practices around unit testing and Jeff’s book didn’t disappoint.

Chalked full of great examples, Jeff’s book introduces the beginner to the concept of unit testing, how it works, and how to get started.

Jeff then expertly moves into some of the more tricker aspects of unit testing. Like how to handle private data, when and how to use mocks, refactoring, and a good introduction to TDD.

I love mnemonics, and Jeff has some great ones I had never heard before. How to test using your Right-BICEP, testing boundary conditions the CORRECT way.

Whether you need a refresher on unit testing, just getting started, or are looking for a refresher, Jeff’s book should be you and your team everything you need to get started. And I think this is a well timed excellent book on the subject.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
This book has helped me understand unit testing much more.
By Terry Birch
I consider myself as an intermediate level java programmer and one of the areas I have been concentrating on recently has been learning unit testing. I have purchased several other books on the subject but have found this one to be the best for helping me understand the java unit testing purpose and process. I can highly recommend it.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Indeed a Java 8 unit testing book
By George Jiang
This is indeed a Java 8 unit testing book. With the very first example code, your understanding of Java 8 Lambda and Functional Interface would already have been challenged even if you had read some other Java 8 books before. A very interesting read about both Unit Testing and Java 8.

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[W628.Ebook] Free Ebook The Works of Anne Bradstreet (The John Harvard Library), by Anne Bradstreet

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Anne Bradstreet was one of our earliest feminists and the first true poet in the American colonies. This collection of her extant poetry and prose, scrupulously edited by Jeannine Hensley, has long been the standard edition of Bradstreet’s work. Hensley’s introduction sketches the poet’s life, and Adrienne Rich’s foreword offers a sensitive critique of Bradstreet as a person and as a writer. The John Harvard Library edition includes a chronology of Bradstreet’s life and an updated bibliography.

• Sales Rank: #117366 in Books
• Brand: Brand: Belknap Press
• Published on: 2010-04-15
• Released on: 2010-03-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.36" h x .95" w x 5.54" l, .78 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 384 pages

Features

• Used Book in Good Condition

About the Author
Jeannine Hensley is former Assistant Professor of English at Wheaton College, Norton, Massachusetts.

Adrienne Rich is one of America’s most distinguished poets. Her work has been translated into many languages, and she has received numerous awards, including the Lannan Foundation Lifetime Achievement Award, the Bollingen Prize in American Poetry, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and the National Book Award.

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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Early American Poetics From a Female Perspective
By Kathryn Atwood
Anne Bradstreet is generally considered to be the first serious poet of the American colonies and one of its first female writers. Born in England in 1612, Bradstreet was raised and educated in a comfortable English home before traveling to the New World when she was 16 to seek religious freedom: she and her family were Puritans. Her poems, written in New England and distributed among family members, were taken to England in 1650 for publication without Bradstreet's knowledge. A second edition, with additional poems (and Bradstreet's blessing) was published during her lifetime and then a third, with still additional poems, was published posthumously. Finally, a fourth edition was published in 1867 which included previously unpublished Bradstreet writings known as the Andover Collection.

The new John Harvard Library edition, a reprint of its definitive 1967 collection, includes all previously published material as well as an updated bibliography and a Bradstreet chronology.

Understanding the initial poems in this collection is greatly enhanced by the foreword and introduction (by Adrienne Rich and Jeanine Hensley, respectively) which explain that Bradstreet was trying to keep her English education alive in the colonial wilderness by writing extremely long, erudite poems having little to do with her surroundings: "The Four Elements," "Of the Four Humours," "Of the Four Ages," "Of the Four Seasons," and "The Four Monarchies."

The first edition also included a fairly lengthy poem praising, in great detail, the reign of Queen Elizabeth while it simultaneously questions the unfairness of gender issues:

. . . Now say, have women worth? Or have they none?
Or had they some, but with our Queen is gone?
Nay masculines, you have thus taxed us long,
But she, though dead, will vindicate our wrong.
Let such as say our sex if void of reason,
Know `tis a slander now but once was treason.

Apart from several fascinating poems such as this one, many of Bradstreet's early works, appreciated at the time of their publication, suffer a bit of a disconnect from 21st century readers, especially the lengthy ones previously mentioned. But these writings were apparently essential preparations for the more strikingly personal poems that followed, those that are most often anthologized and known in this century by students of early American literature, such as "To My Dear and Loving Husband," a poem originally published in the third collection:

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold . . .

Another poem from this collection called "Before the Birth of One of Her Children" reveals Bradstreet's fear of death only because it means parting from her loved ones:

. . . If any worth of virtue were in me,
Let that live freshly in they memory
And when thou feel'st no grief, as I no harms,
Yet love thy dead, who long lay in thine arms.
And when thy loss shall be repaid with gains
Look to my little babes, my dear remains.
And if thou love thyself, or loved'st me,
These O protect from step-dame's injury . . .

"In Memory of My Dear Grandchild Anne Bradstreet" shows the tension Bradstreet often felt between her love for life and her Christian beliefs:

. . . More fool then I to look on that was lent
As if mine own, when thus impermanent.
Farewell dear child, thou ne'er shall come to me,
But yet a while, and I shall go to thee;
Mean time my throbbling heart's cheered up with this:
Thou with thy Saviour art in endless bliss.

Bradstreet's theological beliefs are further documented in the Andover Collection (the last section of the current edition) and contains various poems and prose, the first of which, "To My Dear Children," documents Bradstreet's spiritual odyssey meant to be read after she had died: "The method I will observe shall be this: I will begin with God's dealing with me from my childhood to this day."

"The Words of Anne Bradstreet" places all of Bradstreet's writings clearly within her biographical framework and as such is the definitive tool for understanding this important colonial poet.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
The Private Thoughts of a Puritan Women Shared through Poetry
By Linda Gabriel
Anne Bradstreet originally intended to share her verses only with her family and close friends. Without her prior permission, her brother-in-law John Woodbridge took them to England and published them in 1650 under the title The Tenth Muse Lately Sprung Up In America. Apparently, Mrs. Bradstreet anticipated the skepticism with which her poetry might be received. In her Prologue (above), she apologizes for her lowly attempts and begs the reader to forgive her for her simple verses. While she admits her poems cannot compare with those of the Greeks or other great poets, she humbly asks to receive due credit for her efforts. I imagine Mrs. Bradstreet would be amazed to know that her humble expressions of devotion for her family and her God are still read and admired today, since she didn't initially intend to publish them at all.Anne Bradstreet (1612-1672) was America's first female poet and is considered one of the two greatest New England poets of the 17th century. Written in the frontier wilderness setting of colonial America, her poetry shows a balance of Puritan thought and feminine feeling. In spite of challenges of raising eight children, suffering economic hardship, fighting recurring illness, and having a frequently absent husband, Bradstreet managed to find time and energy to produce a collection of poems that have endured over three centuries.

Leaving the comforts and conveniences of England to begin a new life in a barren land must have been quite an adjustment for the young, newly married gentlewoman. Born in 1612 and married at age sixteen, Bradstreet came from a well-educated English family. Her father, Thomas Dudley, received a Cambridge education and served as steward to the Earl of Lincoln, while her husband, Simon, the son of a Puritan minister and a Cambridge man, involved himself in political and business pursuits. In 1630, Anne traveled from England with her parents and husband on the Arbella, which brought the second group of colonists to Massachusetts (ten years after the Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth). Dudley replaced John Winthrop as the second governor of Massachusetts in 1634, and later Simon Bradstreet also served as governor in 1679 (after Anne's death in 1672). Although a member of a prominent family, Anne Bradstreet primarily focused on caring and providing for the needs of her ever-growing family, while her husband's political business often required him to travel from home.

Bradstreet's poetry draws on her knowledge of the Bible, history, and mythology, to which she often refers and alludes. Adrienne Rich remarks that, as a Puritan, the Bible "was the air she ... breathed." Many of her poems are versified prayers, epitaphs, and meditations. For example, she wrote elegies and epitaphs for several grandchildren, a sister-in-law, and both her parents, as well as one each in honor of Queen Elizabeth and poet Sir Philip Sidney.

We can only imagine how Anne felt when she heard that her brother-in-law was circulating her poems throughout England. She didn't think they were very good, certainly not worthy of being shared with strangers or published for profit. In "The Author to her Book," she talks of her initial embarrassment upon learning that her works had been "exposed to public view" and speaking of her book as if it were her child writes,

I cast thee by as one unfit for light,
Thy visage was so irksome in my sight;
Yet being mine own, at length affection would
Thy blemishes amend, if so I could. (10-13)

So Bradstreet edited, corrected, and added to the original collection for a second edition, which appeared in 1678. Unfortunately, many of her completed manuscripts and works-in-progress, along with the Bradstreet's library of 800 books, were destroyed in a fire in 1666. But we can be grateful to the brother who saw value in her work and wanted the world to be able to profit from them.

While her earlier poems are largely impersonal in nature, Bradstreet's later poetry expresses more of her experiences and feelings. She addresses subjects close to her heart: her relationship with her husband, her children, and her God. The rather intimate letters written to her absent husband depict a woman deeply devoted to her spouse and anxiously awaiting his return. In one poem he is the Sun, whose warmth she misses; in another she is a "loving hind that (hartless) wants her deer." In a letter written in prose to her children, she tells of her childhood faith, the illnesses during which she turned to God, her conviction of sin, and her reasons for believing in the existence of God and specifically the Puritan doctrines. In her desire to leave something of value for her posterity, her "Meditations Divine and Moral," dated 1664, offer a collection of proverbs and observations on life written for her son Simon.

Several of her verses reflect on the solemn topics of affliction, sickness, and death. Her frequent bouts of fits, fevers, and fainting inspired her to reflect on the brevity of life and her hope of eternity with God. Through these short pieces of verse and prose, the reader gains a deeper understanding of the Puritan mind-set. Everything, whether positive or negative, was believed to be from the hand of God. God uses adversity and sorrow as means of correction and for the good of his children. Yet, the God who brings pain and affliction is the same merciful God who provides relief and comfort. After one episode of illness, Bradstreet wrote, "[T]his condition that I am in is the best for me, for God doth not afflict willingly, nor take delight in grieving the children of men...but He doth it for my advantage, and that I may be a gainer by it." "As Weary Pilgrim" expresses the common Puritan idea of being a wanderer in a foreign land, waiting for God to take him to his eternal home of rest. She writes,

A pilgrim I, on earth perplexed
With sins, with cares and sorrow vext[...]
Oh, how I long to be at rest
And soar on high among the blest. (19-20, 23-24)

To the Puritan, all earthly suffering is temporary, and death is a welcome event. Other poems, such as "Upon the Burning of our House" and "Before the Birth of One of her Children," convey an attachment to the beloved people and even things she would grieve to lose. This last one is especially moving and reminds us how common it was for women to die in childbirth. Here she is, about to give birth, and she's saying her goodbye to her husband, expressing her wishes that he remember her kindly and protect her children from the harm of a future stepmother.

As "the mother of American poetry," Anne Bradstreet has survived the harsh criticism of 18th and 19th century literary scholars who labeled her works "quaint and curious" and critics who have pronounced her works "technically amateurish." But Anne wrote in a letter to her children that she did not write her poetry for the purpose of displaying her skill, but to testify of God's providential works and truths, "not to set forth myself, but the glory of God." Her writings give us insight into the mind of the Puritan in general and particularly into the heart of a loving Puritan wife and mother. Her poetry, characterized by humility, honesty, and wit, primarily directs the readers' thoughts toward God - His goodness, provision, loving protection, and even testing and correction. Regardless of their personal beliefs, contemporary readers of Bradstreet will still find her works inspiring, poignant, and enlightening.

36 of 54 people found the following review helpful.
Revisionism at it's Best?
By Whistle Britches
Anne Dudley Bradstreet was considered a great poetess, especially for the period in which she lived. She was a true Brit who became a colonist.

I was appalled at the ludicrous innuendos regarding Anne Bradstreet's "feminist" bent. If Anne Dudley Bradstreet were alive today, she would heartily disagree with the feminist movement with all her might.

It is sad to see great writers from eras passed politicized for a 20th century agenda. In my opinion, it is even sadder to see this woman's work bastardized and dissected into a modern day litany for the feminist movement. Revisionists destroy much of our history by their convoluted interpretations. A destructive practice, to say the least, by modern day writers.

Anne Dudley Bradstreet was a wife and mother first, last and foremost. However, because she was an educated woman for her time, she chose poetry as an artistic outlet as opposed to more traditional pastimes, ie: needlepoint or quilting and gossiping.

Her poems do not bear the marks of early "feminism", but that of a Colonial woman who bore her heart, soul and mind in words. Words of a devoted wife, mother and colonist enduring untold hardships with unwavering stamina which is virtually unknown to day by ANY feminist.

If one truly wishes to know Anne Dudley Bradstreet, they will not do so reading "The Works of Anne Bradstreet" revised by Rich and Hensley. Modern day writers/feminists cannot reinvent a person's soul or heart which appears to be the goal of this book. Personally, I take great umbrage with this book.

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It. Is. On. From the pen of the prolific (and bestselling) author Barney Stinson comes the indispensable guide for every Bro looking to score with The Ladies. Featuring the famous plays including: -The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn -Mrs. Stinsfire -The Ted Mosby -The Time Traveller -The 'SNASA' -The Scuba Diver -The 'He's Not Coming' ...and other greatest hits from Barney Stinson's secretPlaybookof legendary moves. So suit up and get ready to be schooled in awsomeness.

• Sales Rank: #4317552 in Books
• Published on: 2010-10-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: .50" h x 5.40" w x 8.10" l, .35 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 141 pages

About the Author
Matt Kuhn is a staff writer for the CBS hit show "How I Met Your Mother" and helps write Barney's Blog on the show's website. He lives in Los Angeles, California. Barney Stinson works at a corporation, and regularly "suits up" to help his lovelorn and altogether pathetic bro Ted Mosby. Basically the coolest dude ever, Barney Stinson has been compared to the Fonz-but Barney is much, much more awesome. Stinson lives in New York, New York-and appears weekly on the hit CBS show "How I Met Your Mother" with his friends Ted, Robin, Lily and Marshall.

Excerpt. � Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
INTRODUCTION

First of all, thanks for purchasing this book! Now, if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re either too pathetic to pick up girls on your own, or you’re looking for some creative ideas to spice up your repertoire—but my money’s on “too pathetic to pick up girls on your own.”

You stumble up to a woman and stammer in a rehearsed yet cracking voice, “Can I get your number?” Your trembling hands are stuffed in your pockets in a futile attempt to look cool. You’re dressed like an overgrown eighth grader. You’re a little out of shape. Geez, buddy, you’re kind of a mess, huh? Ooh, I bet you smell too.

The good news is you’re not alone, Ted. There are millions of unattractive chumps just like you all over the place who apparently never want to sleep with a woman. But all of that is going to change because now, with the help of The Playbook, you’ll be able to approach any beautiful woman you want and trick her into sleeping with you. How? By giving you self-confidence and proving that you really are somebody who matters (even though you’re not).

Again, sincerely, thanks for purchasing this book.

� 2010 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation|WHAT IS THE PLAYBOOK?

The Playbook provides a plenitude of plays to profit the persistent player. Contained within these pages are every scam, con, hustle, hoodwink, gambit, flimflam, stratagem, and bamboozle I’ve ever used or ever hope to use to pick up chicks and give them the business. Now, in an act of selfless charity, I’m passing this treasure of pleasure on to you as an easy-to-follow guide.

Included in this collection are more than seventy-five schemes that are guaranteed to attract all kinds of women, no matter how sorrowful your social skills are. Best of all, most of the plays require no experience and little to no preparation, so you have almost everything you need to get started right away. Almost: 83% of the plays will necessitate at least a few yards of aluminum foil, so before you get cracking you’d be wise to buy in bulk at your local big-box store or discount warehouse retailer.

With so many other pickup programs available on the market today, you might be wondering what makes The Playbook unique. First of all, I created this program, so you know it’s gonna be awesome. Second, I’ve slept with enough hotties to overbook a commercial airliner (several of them on a commercial airliner, what up?) and only once had to wear eyeliner and a goofy hat to do it … and that was only because this chick had been in a coma since 1983 and pretending to be Boy George was such an obvious layup.

Last, and most important, other seduction methods preach “social dynamics” in which you insult women in an attempt to attract them. I find that approach both demeaning and offensive. Rather than degrade women, The Playbook centers on the profound, positive, and personal changes you can make to trick hot sluts into sleeping with you.

HOW DOES THE PLAYBOOK WORK?

The plays in this book are scientifically calibrated to excite the female sex nodes enough to make her actually consider having sex with a stranger. This strategy flies in the face of conventional wisdom, because for countless millennia men were led to believe that women were not interested in casual sex. We were told their libido had been replaced with the urge to have children, make dinner, and discover the planet’s cutest handbag. But recent evidence suggests that women enjoy sex almost as much as finding a Christian Dior clutch in white croc at 30% off.

Now, thanks to science, we can generate a clearer picture of what women are looking for in a sexual partner. After years of in-depth field research (very in-depth), I’ve discovered that women are sexually aroused by four primary factors:

Money

Fame

Vulnerability

Emotional and spiritual fulfillment

Obviously, number four is right out the window. Seducing a woman by satisfying her on an emotional level is difficult, time-consuming, and quite frankly, unrewarding.

Therefore The Playbook focuses on transforming you into someone who reflects some or all of those first three qualities. If you’re wondering why you have to change who you are, consider this: is a woman more likely to sleep with a loser like you or an underwater bomb diffuser who grew up in an orphanage? It’s just science.

Using all this information, here’s a composite sketch of what women might consider the most sexually attractive man ever.

Don’t worry, The Playbook will never ask you to dress up like this bozo. You’ll be asked to dress up like a fireman or a football player but never at the same time.

HOW TO USE THE PLAYBOOK

As you flip through The Playbook you’ll notice that each play is presented in an easy-to-follow recipe format. This is done so that even a chump like you has a shot at glory. Immediately following the title of the play is a profile box that presents the following quick reference information:

Success Rate— the likelihood of “completing” the play

Attracts—the type of chick the play is designed to ensnare

Requirements—the props and/or special talents you’ll need

Prep Time—how much time you need to invest in the play

Bummers—potential negatives to running the play, other than “might totally fail”

Following the profile box are the numbered steps for each play. Simply follow them word for word with absolutely no deviation and you’ll get laid. Maybe.

Now, before you flip to a page and start trying out plays on random chicks, there are three things you need to consider.

LOCATION. LOCATION. LOCATION.

While most plays can be performed at a party or in your local bar, I recommend you workshop these plays elsewhere when you’re just getting your feet wet—if you have any hope of getting other areas wet. Beta-testing a play in a foreign environment safeguards you from any emotional damage, physical harm, or heaven forbid, your bros giving you crap for striking out.

MAD PROPS

Some of the plays entail wardrobe elements or other accessories that might not be readily available about the home. Therefore it’s a good idea to establish a relationship with a local party or costume shop owner. A good one will let you sample their wares at little to no cost if you promise to promptly return them. As a show of appreciation and good faith you should take extra care not to damage the costume, even as you’re climbing out the window of a girl you just duped into sleeping with you. It’s called integrity.

SKILL LEVEL

Some of the plays require a considerable amount of game while others entail almost no effort whatsoever … like The Michael Jordan or The Saudi Prince. The Playbook presents plays in increasing order of difficulty so that you can take baby steps on your way to baby-making steps™. This is done for safety. If you tried to run an advanced play like The Land Mine Whisperer without the proper experience, you could wind up seriously hurting your chances of getting laid. It’s important to identify your skill level before getting started. That’s why I’ve included the following ASS Test, or Aptitudinal Seduction Skills Test.

ASS TEST
(APTITUDINAL SEDUCTION SKILLS TEST)

Answer the following five questions and then use the secret decoder table to determine your player level.

What’s the first thing you say to a chick?

A. “I’m awesome.”

B. “Hi. How are you?”

C. “Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

When you go out, you usually wear

A. a suit. Duh.

B. a shirt with a collar, designer denim, dressy shoes—nothing too fancy.

C. Cheetos-stained jeans, sandals, and a hysterically ironic screen-print T-shirt.

A woman’s coming over to your place. You

A. quickly usher the chick from last night off the premises.

B. scramble to clean up the place and hide any porn.

C. ask your parents to seriously respect the No Trespassing sign on your door this time.

How many ladies have you been with?

A. please.

B. I’d rather not say.

C. probably, like, a million.

In the above picture, you are most likely

A. chatting up that fine illustration of a chick.

B. sitting with your bros debating which ladies to approach and how—a process that will continue until last call, when you skulk home sad and alone.

C. not pictured. You were going to go out with your bros but got caught up in an epic World of Warcraft PvP with some kid in Korea … and you totally would have pwned that noob with just a Vindicator’s Brand (Mongoose enchant) if the server hadn’t crashed.

PLAYER LEVEL

Give yourself 5 points for every A, 3 points for every B, and 1 point for every C.

23–25Don Juan16–22Don Johnson10–15Don King5–9Don Knotts
THE HISTORY OF THE PLAYBOOK

While the collection of plays presented here hails from the incomparable mind of Barney Stinson, it is by no means a new endeavor. In fact, devising schemes to seduce women has been man’s primary occupation since before the dawn of history. The proof exists in prehistoric cave paintings.

Cavemen would return home from a hunt carrying one of their buddies, Urk, on their shoulders. They would describe through spirited reenactment what a “dangerous” kill it was and how Urk bravely climbed atop the saber-toothed tiger or mastodon or triceratops or whatever. To help sell the story, they drew pictures of the event on the wall using charcoal and ochre.

Thanks to his bros, Urk would score some major cave tail that night while the others played “rock rock rock” to decide who would be the next day’s hero (Urk became ineligible for a week). On the next hunt the men would quickly kill an animal and then spend the rest of the day choreographing the big reenactment and arguing over which cave chicks would look the best clothed. Creating the myth of the all-day hunt served two purposes for cavemen: it got one guy some easy action and got the rest out of a full day of gathering and nagging.

While The Hero of the Hunt is as old as The I Discovered Fire, it’s actually not the oldest trick in the book. That would be The I Love You—which of course had an extra level of complexity before the invention of language.

Surprisingly, the next attempt to record plays didn’t occur until the thirteenth century, when monks spent their entire lives writing down seduction scenarios in collections called illuminated manuscripts. Tragically, they were all destroyed by a gaggle of angry nuns.

But, Barney, why would monks spend their entire lives scheming up ways to sleep with women when they had taken a vow of celibacy?

I think you just answered your own question, fake reader.
FAMOUS PLAYS THROUGHOUT HISTORY The Royal BurialKing Tut1323 BC“Dies” young and is entombed with tons of gold: the original chick magnet.The Great Last NameAlexander the Great325 BCConquers much of the known world, creating a legion of angry fathers in order to become the ultimate “bad boy.”The QuetzalcoatlHern�n Cort�s1519Convinces women of the Aztec Empire that he’s a god by showing them his shiny helmet.The Insignificant HumanGalileo Galilei1610Points his telescope heavenward, proving to chicks how infinitesimal we are, so why not bang?The Great CompromiseRoger Sherman1787Develops the bicameral system of representation to balance power between large and small states but, more important, triple the number of hot young staffers introduced to Washington, DC, every election cycle.The Me ComplexNapoleon1811Generates sympathy among countless European chicks by convincing them he conquered half the continent because he’s ashamed of his height.The Spirit of St. LouisCharles Lindbergh1927Fools the world into thinking flying is dangerous, thereby creating generations of nervous and vulnerable female passengers. Posthumously named president of the mile-high club.The GandhiMahatma1932Shaves head, puts on glasses, Gandhi and goes on a hunger strike to protest something or other. The move reappears half a century later with The Bono.The Eagle Has LandedNeil Armstrong1969Gets millions of chicks to believe he actually went to the moon—and walked on it! Classic.The I’m George ClooneyGeorge Clooney1997Becomes a handsome movie star.
BARNEDICTION

Take a knee, boys.

As we embark on this new mission together, remember The Playbook is only a guide. I encourage you to add your own personality and creativity to each and every play. As a wise man once said, it’s not the destination but the journey. I think you’ll agree in this instance the destination far outweighs the journey, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to have fun in the process.

During your adventures you may start to feel the urge to develop your own plays. I highly encourage you to do so, and then post them to barneysblog.com. We should exist as a community of players that can learn and grow from one another’s experiences. If you find a new way to get laid, believe me, I’m interested, and will totally not steal it and take credit for it in The Playbook 2, also by Barney Stinson.

One final note. Throughout your quest you may find yourself mired in a slump, when none of the plays seem to work and you suddenly feel like the worthless individual you were before reading The Playbook. That’s okay, because while you’ll never be as awe-some as me, you can rest easy knowing salvation may lie in the very next play. That’s the beauty of The Playbook—each and every page delivers a new hope that you can trick a girl into having sex with you. Unless it’s the last page. Then you’re pretty much screwed. Until I write my next book.

—BARNEY STINSON

DISCLAIMER

While each of the plays presented in this book will put you in the best possible position to score, the publisher makes no guarantee you actually will. As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but can’t make him have sex with it.

� 2010 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Funny Book for Barney Fans
By Jennifer T
This is an amusing read. As a big fan of 'How I Met Your Mother', and more specifically a big fan of Barney, this book did not let me down! It's the kind of book you can just pick up and read any page at random; you don't have to start at the beginning and read page by page, cover to cover.

Now of course I don't recommend you actually TRY these "plays" in real life, lol, unless you enjoy getting slapped/arrested, but if you're a fan, you will enjoy this funny collection of Barney-isms!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Loved it. Fun quick read.
By Laird A. Popkin
Loved the show, loved this book. No deep thought or character development, but it's Barney! But don't take his advice...

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
It's a fun read. It obviously doesn't really tell you how ...
By Hyeoncheol Jung
It's a fun read. It obviously doesn't really tell you how to pick up the ladies (sorry if that's what you bought if for).

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This fully updated new edition of a successful and popular practical guide is an indispensable account of modern in-vitro fertilization practice. Initial chapters cover theoretical aspects of gametogenesis and embryo development at the cellular and molecular level, while the latter half of the book describes the requisites for a successful IVF laboratory and the basic technologies in ART. Advanced techniques, including pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, vitrification and stem-cell technology, are comprehensively covered, providing up-to-date analyses of these groundbreaking technologies. This edition includes: • New practical techniques, including preservation of fertility for cancer patients, stem-cell biology/technology, vitrification and in-vitro maturation • A 'refresher' study review of fundamental principles of cell and molecular biology • The latest information available from animal and human research in reproductive biology Packed with a wealth of practical and scientific detail, this is a must for all IVF practitioners.

• Sales Rank: #1957109 in Books
• Published on: 2011-02-14
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.69" h x .59" w x 7.44" l, 1.40 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 285 pages

Review
Review of the previous edition: '... an excellent handbook for good IVF laboratory practice right down to a description of total quality management (TQM) systems ... concise, well written and should be mandatory reading for all potential and actual embryologists, as well as for those clinicians seeking a wider understanding of the subject.' Human Fertility

Review of the previous edition: 'The authors are masters of this work. Their views are up-to-date, practical, and well documented. This work will be of greatest interest to clinical practitioners of in vitro fertilization that want a relatively short and very precise overview of laboratory methods. It is highly recommended.' John E. Buster, Fertility and Sterility

About the Author
Kay Elder is Senior Research Scientist, Bourn Hall Clinic, Bourn, Cambridge, UK.

Brian Dale is Director of the Centre for Assisted Fertilization, Clinica Villa del Sole, Naples, Italy.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent resource
By Michael Buratovich
This is a very densely written work that is very well organized. The book is also nicely referenced, and very up to date. I bought the Kindle version of the book and it is very readable even though it is rather technical. I would prefer that the Kindle version be broken into chapters that you can click to. That would make it easier to access individual chapters easier. Also, even though the different types of protocols for ovarian stimulation are provided, there is little suggests as to how one might tweak these cycles in order to help sub fertile women conceive.

All in all, a very good book for those interested in some of the latest work in human early embryology and in vitro fertilization.

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Features

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0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
For the love of god
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